Co-Parenting When One Parent Has an Abusive History

Is it ever possible to co-parent when one spouse or ex-partner has an abusive history? Sadly, even when parents are found guilty of crimes involving domestic violence, child abuse, or any sexual crimes, the court may still allow that parent to have custody or supervised visitation time. We want to do whatever it takes to protect our children from dangerous people and it becomes a tiring situation when one of those people is your child’s parent.

The unfortunate thing is that the courts never want us to speak down about the other parent so, even if they have a violent past, it is not one that we are left to mention to our children. The courts see it this way: You are both parenting a child together, so you should never insult the other parent in their presence, and should do whatever it takes to encourage their relationship with one another. It is okay for you to talk to your children about how to protect themselves and how to come to you when there is a problem. Today we will look at some tips that will help your child understand that you are working through the issues to help them emotionally and physically.

Some Important Tips 

Showing Interest in Your Child’s Life: You want your child to be open and honest with you. You open their ability to talk to you, which means that they will come to you when there is an issue. 

Knowing Warning Signs: If your child consistently refuses to speak about their parent, or there are changes in their everyday life like becoming more introverted, this could be a sign of trouble. 

Teaching Your Child Boundaries: Teach your child that nobody has the right to make them feel uncomfortable or unsafe. And, if they do, they are supposed to come to you and tell you right away.

Being Available: Set time aside to be available for your child so that they can speak to you on a personal level. If they have questions about their parent or what is going on in their lives, you will be able to talk to them and assure them that they will be safe.

Not Having Secrets: Tell your children that they can be honest about these things without getting into trouble. Many people who act violently will tell children that they should keep secrets, and this is something you want to avoid. If they know they can safely come to you, they will do just that.

It can be difficult to co-parent with a spouse or ex-partner who has been accused of a violent crime or domestic violence. You may be worried about the time they spend with your child, and rightfully so. If you are dealing with family law issues and need an attorney who will listen to you in your time of need, call us today. We are here for you.