Celebrity marriages are notoriously short-lived, whether it’s Kim Kardashian’s 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries or Dennis Rodman’s 9-day marriage to Carmen Electra. While you may hesitate to take marriage advice from fickle celebrity couples, there are certainly valuable lessons to be learned from these highly publicized divorce proceedings.
Your children should be your #1 priority.
We’ve seen it time and time again. A celebrity couple announces their split—or more likely, a tabloid gets ahold of a shred of evidence and plasters it all over the front page—and all of a sudden their children are in the national spotlight. The speculation begins: What will happen to the kids? Where will they live? Who will win custody? How will the child be affected?
Divorce is unquestionably hard on any couple. Unfortunately, though, the children are often the ones most deeply affected. When divorcing couples treat the divorce as a chance to hash out every past disagreement or marital issue, it creates a hostile and resentful environment that can damage the child’s relationship with either parent.
For the sake of your children, make the divorce process as amicable and collaborative as possible—hard as it may be. Divorce marks the end of marriage, not the end of parenthood; it do wonders in the long run to stay positive, not speak ill of the other parent, and not involve your children unnecessarily in the proceedings.
The more private, the better.
Just ask Jennifer Anniston, Charlie Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Liza Minnelli—the list goes on and on. The he-said, she-said battles, the leaking of court documents, and nasty public statements make the divorce process much messier than it needs to be, especially when the media is involved. Celebrity couples who keep their divorce proceedings private tend to come out with a more positive relationship and a better public image than couples who drag each other through the mud at any given opportunity.
Divorce is a private matter between two people who have strong ties to one another, and it’s best to keep it that way. Talking things through with family members, friends, or therapists can be extremely beneficial, but try not to involve other people unnecessarily. The divorce process goes much more smoothly without pressure or opinions from the outside world.
Stress is destructive.
If celebrities can teach us anything about marriage and divorce, it’s a lesson in stress. Celebrities often have very demanding schedules, which puts stress and strain on their relationships with their spouses; oftentimes, this is the first explanation celebrity couples give when asked about their divorce. We can learn from these celebrity couples by recognizing that stress can have major negative impact on a marriage and working to minimize stress (or at least deal with it in positive, productive ways).
Stress can affect not only the marriage, but also the divorce. The legal hurdles of the divorce process, particularly in a contested divorce, puts a large amount of stress on both spouses. It is important to handle this stress in healthy ways and not take it out on the other party or the children. Even if it is nearly impossible to be civil with each other, it is important not to lash out as a result of excess stress.
