Going through a divorce or separation is usually difficult for everyone involved. The parents who are separated or are planning to get divorced have issues regarding the other parent, and the child of said parents is feeling confused, insecure, afraid, etc. Often times in these situations when the issue of child custody and/or visitation comes up, the courts focus on the parents issues, the financial needs of the child involved, the neighborhood, school, etc. that the child would be going to. It isn’t very often, however, that the courts or the parents take into account how the child feels about their parents separation or divorce and where they want to live.
In certain circumstances, one of the parents involved in the separation may not have been around the child much up until this point, but now that the parents are separating, this parent wants to see their child more and may fight in court to either have the right to visit their child more or even to be granted custody of their child. The other parent may feel that this is unfair since the non-involved parent didn’t express much of an interest in their child before the separation and hasn’t been involved. The child, however, may like this sudden new increased attention given to them by the parent who hasn’t been around much before and may wish to continue this new relationship because it makes the child feel loved and cared for which is something that they previously had not received from this parent.
These feelings can make the situation more complicated than it had been previously, as the parent who has been involved may feel that they aren’t being appreciated for loving and caring for their child. The parent who hasn’t been involved much in their child’s life before the separation may also feel scared of losing the right to visit or have a relationship with their child and this may be one of the myriad of different reasons why this parent is suddenly deciding that they want to have a relationship with their child after all.
Depending upon the child’s age, they may be angry with this non-involved parent for not being around as much as they wanted to instead of basking in the new-found attention. The best way to determine the child’s feelings about this is to have the child meet with a child psychologist or a mediator who has experience handling family law cases. Once it has been determined how the child feels about who they are going to live with and how often their other parent will get to see them, then the best decision can be made in regards to what is best for the child in this circumstance.
For more information about separations, child custody and/or visitation, visit montesfamilylaw.com.
Works Cited
Direnfeld, Gary. “How to Truly Advance the Needs of the Child between Separated Parents.” How
to Truly Advance the Needs of the Child between Separated Parents. Resourceful
Internet Solutions, Inc., Dec. 2015. Web. 04 Mar. 2016.
