Divorce can be a difficult time for all, and you may want to stray far from introducing more difficulties into the process, too soon. But what happens if you already have a significant other when you are going through the divorce process? For many people in America every year, this is a reality and parents make mistakes far too often when dealing with these issues. Parents introduce new partners to their children during or after divorce, only to observe the relationship take a turn for the worse and fall to pieces. It is normal to seek solace during or after a divorce, but it is important to consider your children as well and dictate whether or not the relationship is casual or permanent in nature.
Tips for the Introductory Period
When you want to introduce your significant other to your children, there are some tips that you should keep in mind, especially when divorce is in the mix. After a divorce, you may feel scared to take the plunge but it is always imperative to be prepared for everything.
Timing: After a divorce, timing is necessary for a healthy family adjustment. It can take a child up to a few years to get over anger, sadness, and other emotions. You don’t want to complicate the already-complicated divorce.
Rivalry: Your children may not share the same feelings as you for your new partner, and could see it as a rivalry.
Security Needs: You could accidentally increase the stress in the household by introducing a new man or woman in your children’s lives. Reassurance, love, and security will help a child understand that there is enough love to go around.
Fitting the Family: Is your love interest the best fit for your family? You should always monitor this, as your children may not believe so.
Children’s Feedback: If you are looking for commitment with a new partner, it never hurts to understand your children’s opinions about the matter. The first meeting should be short and low key, as well as neutral.
Court-Ordered Provision
Of course, things are a lot different if there is a provision in your child custody order that states that your ex is not allowed to introduce a significant other until many months after the divorce. These matters could go before a judge, so you should always abide by the order. If you have questions about one of these matters in particular, we can help you with your case. Call us today, as we have experience in divorce cases and can help you.
