Going through a divorce is stressful and at times overwhelming. When the holiday season rolls around, you may wonder how you are supposed to celebrate when you have so much on your mind already. Though it may seem difficult, it is possible to manage a divorce during the holidays, and still enjoy celebrating with family and friends.
Here are a few tips on how to survive the holidays during divorce.
- Be patient. Be patient with yourself, and with your family. You will want to grieve your losses, but don’t forget what you are really celebrating. Accept the tears and use this holiday season to form new connections with the reason for the season
- Plan ahead. Plan something that is fun and as stress free as possible with people you love most. If the you really feel as if the holidays are just too painful, you may consider a vacation that allows you to “escape ” the stress of the holidays.
- Create new traditions. One good way to deal with feelings of loss is to start new rituals and traditions for the holidays. You may want to hold on to some of the past traditions, but it is a good idea to create some new rituals with friends and family. Keep the traditions you want, but try some new things. Try finding creative new ways to share the season can enhance the real meaning of the holidays. Maybe if you don’t have the children on Christmas, have a tree-decorating party earlier in December, and make that that a new tradition. An added benefit might be to make the week of Christmas less hectic.
- Let your children know that holidays will be celebrated in a new way. Allow your children to help create some of the new holiday rituals and traditions. Take time to brainstorm with your children about new ideas for celebrating.
- Make sure you are acting in the best interests of the child. Decide ahead of time how holidays will be celebrated, and reassure kids that you will be alright while they are with the other parent. Keep the arrangements as simple as possible, and try to let your children be as stress free as possible.
- Simplify. A recent survey found that 4 out of 5 people want the holidays to be simpler. A divorce is a good time to simplify and make beneficial changes. You usually have moved to a smaller place, you may have less money, and you may have less time if you have gone back to work. You have an opportunity to do what many want to do, and cut back during the holidays. This is a way to make something positive from the changes in your life. Determine your priorities and simplify.
- Remember, it’s not about stuff! Make a budget and stick to it. Don’t try to buy love or loyalty. In a recent survey, many Americans are still paying off some part of holiday extravagance until November of the following year.Give gifts of time and attention instead of expensive things. It will be good for you and good for your children.
Focus on others. The holidays are truly about sharing, and being thankful. Spread the joy around, expand your list of people to welcome into your celebrations. Who knows, you could be encouraging others around the holidays by celebrating gracefully. Focus on being grateful for every good thing you have.
