Divorce is not only a stressful time for the couple, but what about the children? When telling your children about your decision to get a divorce, it is important to make them feel safe and loved, even though mommy and daddy no longer want to be married.
It’s difficult for some children to understand what’s going on, regardless of their age. They may feel uncertain or angry at the prospect of their mother and father splitting up. As a parent, you can make this process less painful for them.
When it comes to telling your children about your divorce, don’t freeze up. Make the conversation a little easier on both yourself and your children by preparing significantly before you sit down to talk. Deal with your own anxieties ahead of time.
One of the most important things to tell them is that the divorce is not their fault. Try to strike an empathetic tone and address the most important issues up front. Give your children an honest and kid-friendly explanation. Tell the truth; they have a right to know what’s in store for them. Don’t forget to tell them you love them. Say it over and over again.
Answer their questions as best as you can. Talk about your ex without being critical of him or her.
Helping your children cope with divorce means providing stability in your home – attending to their needs and reassuring them, with a positive attitude, that all will be okay. Even though, you may feel uncertain about how to give your children the right support you must make an effort for their sake. Don’t you want them to feel loved, confident and strong?
First off, your patience, reassurance and listening ear can minimize tension as your children learn to cope with their new circumstances. Don’t deter from their normal routines. Let your children know they can rely on you for stability, structure and care.
Keeping a civil relationship with your ex can help your children avoid the stress that comes with watching their parents argue all the time. Make your children you top priority!
If you have children and are facing divorce, it is important to speak with an experienced Orange County family law attorney. At this vulnerable time, it’s critical that you have someone who not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.
The family law offices of Amy M. Montes is committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes and ensuring that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.
