Life as a divorced father can take some getting used to. You may have troubling adjusting to visitation schedules or trying to spend time with your children in new ways. However, while parenting may be different while divorced, there are still great ways to develop strong bonds with your children, instill good values, and be a good role model. Here are a few tips for being the best divorced father possible:
Schedule Your Time and Stick To It
As a divorced parent, you have a unique opportunity to schedule your time with your children and make the most out of every day. While many married fathers claim not to have the time or energy to spend time with their children, as a divorced father, you know exactly when and how you will get to spend time with your child.
In order to build trust and accountability, it is important to stick to your parenting schedule. Try not to cancel at the last minute or show up late for scheduled visits, and make sure you are engaged when you spend time together.
Plan Out Your Activities
It is important to be spontaneous every once in a while, but planning out your time together can help you make the most of it. Make sure you know what activities or responsibilities your child will need to take care of while in your care, including sports practices, homework, or extra-curricular activities. This way, you can block out certain times for necessary activities (such as homework), and it also gives you a chance to volunteer with extracurricular activities or your child’s other interests. Planning certain activities can help you maximize your time together and help you develop a strong bond.
Don’t Forget to Parent
It’s great to have fun with your kids during your time together, but make sure you never forget to be a parent. It is important to have rules in place and practice discipline to ensure your child doesn’t get a “free pass” whenever they’re with Dad. It may be tempting to throw the rules out because you only have limited time to spend with your child, but at the end of the day, it’s far more valuable to teach your child long-term lessons and stick to your principles.
Be Open to Compromise
Avoid getting too wrapped up in the specifics of your divorce papers. The divorce paperwork is there to prevent disputes—not to cause unnecessary ones.
For example, say the divorce paperwork stipulates that you get the children for the month of June every year, but your ex-spouse wants to take them on a special vacation this year that can only happen in June. Rather than “putting your foot down” and insisting the paperwork be followed every step of the way, take a step back and think about what your kids might want. Are they interested in going on this vacation? Would your ex be willing to give you more time with the kids at another time in the year (i.e. switching June and July for this year or having the children for another holiday)? At the end of the day, you should always have your children’s best interests at heart, which means being open to compromise and negotiating with your ex-spouse when conflicts arise.
