Domestic violence occurs between intimate partners and in families. It can involve shouting and cursing (known as verbal abuse) and can lead to shoving, hitting, and even death. Often, the abuser apologizes and promises never to do it again. But, it does happen again, and the cycle of abuse continues while the victim is too scared to leave or seek help. However, you do not have to face domestic violence alone. Help is available, whether you decide to leave the abuser or not.
First of all, if you are in immediate danger, call 911 right away. You need to protect yourself and, if you have children, they could be at risk too. Explain the situation to the police when they arrive. The police officers can contact an on-call judicial officer and issue you an Emergency Protective Order (or EPO) right away. The EPO legally prohibits the abuser from coming within a certain distance of you, and can also grant you temporary custody of your children. In order to get an EPO, there must be an “immediate and present danger” that you and/or your children will suffer abuse, or that the child will be abducted by the abusive parent. If you obtain an EPO it will remain in effect four five court days or seven calendar days, whichever is shorter.
If you need a longer-term restraining order, you have to file an application for a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) in family law court. If you are granted a TRO, it will be applied as soon as your abuser is served a copy of the court papers. You can request that a local law enforcement agency serve your court papers to the abuser, free of charge. You, or anyone else protected under the TRO, cannot serve the papers.
Once your TRO application is filed, the court will give you a date to return for a court hearing approximately three weeks later. The TRO will be in effect until this hearing. At the hearing, you can request that the Temporary Restraining Order becomes permanent, meaning that it lasts up to five years. This order can be renewed once the term is up. Restraining orders typically forbid the abuser from coming within 100 yards, which is the length of a football field, of the person or people protected under it. They also usually forbid the abuser from contacting you in person or through others, or by phone, email, letters, or otherwise.
You can request that all of your children be protected under the restraining order as well. The judge can order that the abused stay away from the children’s school, the family home, and other location. If you and the abuser are the children’s parents, the judge can order on the TRO that you have temporary custody of the children, and that the abuser has specific or no visitation. The court may also issue an order for the restrained person to pay child or spousal support at the court hearing for a permanent restraining order, if your have requested it in your application. If you want full custody of your children, you will have to attend court-ordered mediation before your hearing for a permanent restraining order. To find a domestic violence advocate to help you create a safety plan, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.
