Trying to spare your child the awful truth? Fighting behind closed doors? Concealing your emotions instead of addressing the issues?
How does divorce really affect your children?
Children have a right to know about impending change in the family, especially if it affects them. Unfortunately, divorce brings out the worst in people. In their attempts to reassure their children that everything will be okay, some parents may like or exaggerate the truth a little. Attempting to buy their love or demeaning the other parent is typical of the divorce drama.
Never rush into telling them what’s going on until you and your spouse have made some final decisions and are able to provide the children with a structured plan – and answer to most of their questions.
Ideally, both you and your spouse should talk with your children about the divorce at the same time; be honest with them; discuss the situation in language they can understand. Explain to them that in spite of the changes that lie ahead, life will be better – no more arguing in their house. Explain to them that as you and your spouse get a new start on life, the two of you will become better, happier parents in many ways.
Depending on their age, your children may or may not be upset; they may understand what you’re telling them – they may not be surprised at what is happening – maybe they sort of thought this was coming. However, younger ones may cry. Allow your child to respond with whatever he or she is feeling.
Expect the questions to continue. Most children cannot comprehend and adapt to the issues the first or second time they hear them. Additional questions may occur to the child as he or she grows older and reconsiders what has happened.
If you and your spouse are heading for divorce, this may be the most significant legal and financial event of your life. You need a divorce lawyer that focuses on getting you the best possible result.
Find out how the Orange County family law offices of Amy M. Montes can help ensure that your rights are protected and that you get a fair result in your divorce or family law case. Visit us online to find out more about helping your children cope with divorce, to speak to one of our knowledgeable attorneys submit our contact form today.
