There are some things you don’t want to tell your children when you are going through divorce. For instance, you don’t want to tell them that their father is living with another woman, or that their mother has a drinking problem and that is the reason for the split. These subjects are very taboo, and sometimes you wonder how you should approach the issue so that you can have an open and honest conversation with your children regarding the details of your divorce. The problem is that, if you don’t approach these issues with regard to your children’s well-being, you could intentionally or unintentionally drive a wedge between your children and the other parent. This is a scenario that you want to avoid.
Being Open and Honest With Your Children
Divorce happens for many reasons, some of which have subcategories. For instance, you might divorce due to a spouse that is degrading or morally not a good fit for you, because of betrayal, or due to growing apart and lack of communication. Your children, if they are young, will probably not comprehend any of these aspects. From their eyes, they see it as “Mommy and Daddy don’t want to live together anymore” and it makes sense to communicate with them about their feelings during this time. You should always consider the child’s age, awareness, and overall maturity.
When you decide to speak to your children about the reasons regarding your divorce, you shouldn’t act on impulse. Think about it before you talk to them so that the conversation can be lighthearted but informative. You may want to write out the reasons and see how it sounds on paper before you speak to them. You also want to find the right time to talk to them about it. Perhaps your child feels anxious when you bring up the divorce, so you wouldn’t ask them before that big spelling bee or school dance. Think like your child and base your decisions on what will help them through your divorce on an emotional level. You don’t want to barrage them with accusations of the other parent’s wrongdoing, as it could set them off.
When you go through a divorce, your children can sometimes feel the effects. This is why it helps to be prepared during this difficult time and do what’s best for them as well as yourself. We want to help you through the difficult parts of your case to help you understand how you can move forward during this time. Call us for more information on how you can move forward with your divorce case and get the results you deserve.